What I learned after 9 months as a one man shop plumber

What I learned after 9 months as a one man shop. Have a good laugh.


People will pay to find that mysterious ceiling leak. However they don’t want their ceiling opened if I can’t find the leak upstairs in the bathroom. They’ll wait and see.


People just bought a stainless fridge with a TV incorporated in it or a singing diswasher. They think that replacing a dishwasher or a new installation of a fridge line is easy as plugging a toaster. Even though I explain all the steps and by code I have to install water hammer arestors its too expensive. They call someone else.


These people want these installations done after they finish work at 5pm. They are not paying evening rates.


People shop prices when their toilet is clogged and its overflowing.


Their kitchen sink is clogged for days, They used drano, sulphuric acid, they removed the p-trap, used a dollarama snake, called their father to help. I get there the chandeliere in the foyer costs over 20 000 dollars, the guy is a lawyer, literally wall jewelry (never seen that before!), 2 BMW in the driveway. The plumbing is all done wrong they hired a hack.


I’ll talk to my husband and I’ll call you back. Yeah right!


What’s the price to install a glacier bay faucet and redo the piping under my new 8000$ dollar granite countertop? They reply what, no thats too expensive.


People call «I just finished a reno, I want 3 toilets installed, diswasher, fridge line, 4 faucets and drains within a floating vanity with drawers, 2 shower columns, kitchen faucet and drains, laundry tub», «What it takes at least a day of work? I’ll call you back.» They never call back...


People call «My undermount kitchen sink dropped from the granite countertop and the pipes are all twisted.» I reply call the installer. They say, they won’t answer, they are out of bussiness etc. They say why should I pay you to fix my problem?


I say the aproximate time and rate to unlog a drain to immigrants, they say fine do it. When it comes to pay the bill, they want a discount, only have 1 hours worth of cash or I have to follow them to the ATM, they fill their car with gas, not enough money gotta follow them to the bank and they are pissed I haven’t given up yet to getting paid!

What!! The material are not included in the hourly rate!? Yep for the rate of one hour of work I’ll supply enough free materials to build you a house!


General Contractors call and say, «My last plumber doesn’t show up anymore and I need a good MASTER plumber contractor.» I got wise and ask their budget, they reply all gloating I pay 5$ more than what an employee makes. You are a smart bear!


This sould only take a minute, what you charge an hour minimum! Never mind it takes over an hour to drive to and from the place!


When can you come to give me an estimate for a 30 minute job?


I need an estimate for my bathroom reno. I ask do you have any plans, what’s your budget, have you gotten quotes from someone else? The reply is always no. I get the angry reply «What you charge to come and see, and for a quote!»


Good news though, my cat is awesome! Wait my girlfriend too!:biggrin:
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